Er, ummmmm...

Left my mothers early last night as I didn’t feel comfortable at hers, noone talking, food being served randomly, TV/Computer/game screens being stared into…just not me.  I think I probbie poisened the atmosphere for myself in advance tho.  I was dreading going for the very reasons above, so I may have made it a case of self fulfilling prophecy. Felt guilty come evening time but still, the moment had passed and it wasn’t as if anyone went outta their ways to make it a fun time.  I went round Abbi's instead and had a good time round there.  Loadsa conversation, drunk more, I did eat more too.  Don’t know what the difference between my mothers dull affair to my friends.  Same amount of adults and children, altho Abbi's had a baby.  Has to be conversation.

When I left my mothers I decided to check on the pub just round the corner to me to see if it was open so I could watch end of footy and try to stop being so angry or annoyed cause of earlier.  I always feel uncomfortable going into a place like that by myself but I know the moment passes quick enough so I just push on.  I got the looks that anyone gets when walking into this kinda pub, everyone looks up/round but I didn’t hear any hints of nastiness which is good as I go there occassionaly and am known, the bar lady said "Hi ####" and the landlord asked how I was.

As I was on my second drink and waiting for the game to finish a guy came crashing through the door, seemingly very familiar to the place, offering to walk a lone oldish lady home but who declined several times and then he started talking to 4 guys at the end.  I am not sure if they spoke back as he had a general aire of menace about him.  He took a call and went outside to speak and the bar lady asked each one of us if we knew him, I laughed when she got to me and she jokingly apologised.  There was only about 8 or 9 of us in all.  When he came back in the bar lady was at the other end typing a text message and he shouted no photo's, no photo's or I'll put a spade in your face, he then paused and then dashed round to her where she got up and manouvered behind the bar to avoid him.

After a bit he came over and sat right next to me, him above me as he was against a table I was sandwiched between.  I avoided looking and kept looking at the game.  He then asked me if I am english and where am I from?  This is weird as I have been asked that before and have no idea about looking 'foreign'.  I get told that I look as if I am from elsewhere but never a place in particular.  He then started saying that his girlfriend is going to love me when she gets there.  Then he asked if he could say to his girlfriend when she got there that I was his new boyfriend.  There was a brief silence before he then asked if I knew what he meant? That there was 'something in what I said if you know what I mean?'.  He kept staring at me and then insisted I had a drink with him.  I declined saying that I was off in a minute and he asked where. I said to a friends and he said he had a driver outside, he could drop me.  I again declined saying I was gonna pop home to collect some things and he asked what?  Getting annoyed at the obvious entrapping nature of the conversation  I replied that it was presents and things.  At this he seemed thoughtful.  Then he turned to the bar and asked for a drink, asking if anyone else wanted one and that "this person DEFINITELY needs one", again I declined and instead of watching the last few mins of the game I thought I would leave. 

I wished the lady a good party that she was excited about and then I left, keeping an eye that I wasn’t watched or followed as I literally walk about 20m or so, aided thankfully by a sharp corner.  Not sure if anything else kicked off in there after as he seemed that kind of guy.  He kept saying to the bar lady that he knew (I think) the owner and was he coming in.  He was really drunk, looked like Robert Carlyle in the James Bond film except his scar was still bloodied, looked fairly recent and maybe late 30's early 40's.  He also spoke about 'inside' which didn’t make him sound a pleasant person to be around at all.  Not for that reason alone, just that added to the whole tapestry of unpleasantness it made for something bad.  It could have been that he was real drunk but I didn’t feel easy and the bar lady certainly didn’t, neither did a guy between me and her.  Not sure what the other 4 thought of him but doubt it was nice…

xx