Arrrrroooooooooo

Well, the redness goes down eventually, however, I don’t like it as it has the look of small spots or sores and makes me feel as if I look so guyish.  I shall try another session or 2 of electro to see what gets removed but I just feel the redness is too much at the mo, my complexion is usually really good and this is just unsettling me, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I werent so vampirically white but as I am its annoyingly irksome.

Have to see my GP on Monday

Have booked a hair appt to get it cut and styled and whatever, of course it means I am gonna have to disclose myself to him but he is an open TV so I am hoping he is receptive. I know there aint enough at the mo but I want it at least looked at and 'shaped' for the future for it to grow into.  Again, the piggin redness is still apparent by the Friday and I cant help feeling I wanna look as believeable as poss, bugger bugger, not sure if its me turning vain or am panicing whenever I am taking these steps backwards to go forward.

I met my friend Dawn on Thursday and, whereas I don’t usually feel I get stared at or noticed, I couldn’t help noticing a group of three, 2 men and 1 woman, looking at me and only thing I can think of as different is my current blotchiness, altho I did try to hide it under makeup.  Still, when I first got there I was fairly nervous as I don’t like big busy places, as I settled down I didn’t notice much going on.  Still alive though so I guess it don’t matter.

My electro this coming week is Tuesday morning at 9am, that’s gonna be horrible waking up for that early after a weekend of nights.  Hopefully I could get straight home back to bed, increase the healing.  I guess it aint so so bad, it just looks like real minor shaving irritation and blotches, fine for a guy I suppose but its summin I havent had to worry about for so long I guess I just have been used to clear skin and whittering, its all for the ultimate better.  That’s what I gotta keep telling myself, its only temporary.

The new hair keeps emerging, I just want the density to pick up pace so I can stop wearing a hat so much by being less concious.  At the moment some of the new hairs are really quite long but then could be next to a lil one just emerging from the skin so I guess its gonna take me a while, sheeeeeeeesh!!! But there's me moaning on about the electro, guess I am just wanting tomorrow too much when today is just as important.

Saw Placebo on Channel 4 last night, playing a few songs from the new album.  Hope they announce more dates soon as the few they have are sold out already, big bugger! I could go see em in some 400 odd miles away but they must have other dates, I cant believe that they will settle for the few they have setup.

Oooo, course work, must read it, get the essay done earlier…heh, yeah right