Gimme more of what ya got...

Hi ya,

Visited my psychiatrist yesterday and had a slightly earlier 6 monthly checkup on the new hair situation with Dr May as that was in the same area.    I left home about 10ish and arrived in London just before midday, I went earlier than needbe as I was unsure where the new offices were for the Psych as this was the first appointment I had with since RR retirement in Feb.  Anyways, I found it ok, not as easy to get to as the old place was but not a nightmare, just one extra switch on the tubes. 

Dr Curtis was real nice, very easy to talk to and seemed genuinly interested in me and where I been with things.  I told him I was off to see Dr May afterwards and that that was all I was planning in the near future.  He was a bit surprised by my hormone levels, well, the estrogen one particularly as it was high but he thought my Testo was low enough to not need any more Androcur.  My father came up briefly in conversation and spookiliy my phone rung as we were sitting there and it was him, he left no message tho and I havent spoken to him since the last time when he made his comments.I left Dr Curtis pretty much as I arrived, as expected no change of Androcur doseage but I did mentioned speech therepy and he will refer to it in his letter for my GP.

I got to Dr Mays and reception lady dug out my previous session photos which were very urky.  I needed the toilet and asked where they were, she then asked me male or female?  It doesn’t really class as passing of course as she knew of me however, it just shows their friendly nature.  They seemed impressed with the growth I have had altho I still have some more to do their thing as yet.  Bad news is that I do need another session to dense it up along female lines and that’s gonna hit me for £2600.  I am cynically pleased that this will be for sure, however, if I need so many grafts this time, same as last time in fact, then that’s bit of an undersight of estimate of their original work.  Subsequent work was only hinted at as a possible need, never an actual certainty which it feels it has to be.  I left feeling happy that all seemed ok, I had Dr may check on the crown area but he assures me it will all be fine there and that he only needs to concentrate on the front.  They had a cancellation for coming weds and I said I'd contact em Thursday to confirm if I could do it.

My work is still going shit.  Had to see my GP today who then signed me off for the month, annoyingly I had to ring the HR woman to advise her and then she proceeded to direct the conversation to me agreeing to a meeting on the 30th of May at a neutral place.  I have a interview on Monday so hopefully I can walk from current job as its not worth this grief.  No2 made me cry this morning as she called me back after the Docs and seemed to misunderstand anything and everything that was being said and I was getting angry at that, upset at that, confused also, and just fell apart.  She says she was trying to help but it didn’t feel like it at all.  I eventually stopped and wrote another covering letter for another job and then posted them all off.

After delaying to minutes before closing time I also called Dr May's and confirmed my next appt.  I think I'm more scared of this second one than I was of the first which is mad, the money is a 'ucker tho as I intended to pay my cards off but it takes so long to grow as it is that I have to try. 

I sooo don’t have a grip on things at the mo, I feel I am really struggling to keep things together.  My job is the source I believe, a new job will be a new start.  Money could be an issue but worrying over everything but inability to solve nothing is a real bad mix.

Gotta start my final essay, my head really is not in a place to be able to be coping with these at the mo.

I probbie neglected to say summin of utmost importance  but I'll remember at some point no doubt.